Mojo MIA

Ugh... Okay, so I haven't exactly been on the ball lately. I haven't had many posts in recent months: 2 in June, 1 in July, and I entirely missed August. I guess if I wanted to I could lie to myself and post-date an entry, but what exactly would that prove? Not a damn thing.

As the title suggests, I feel like I've lost my mojo, my groove, my inspiration, my innovation. A series of events has really messed with my inner equilibrium over a period of time, starting obviously enough in June. Here they are, in order, laid out for my brain to sort through:

10. Week-long vacation in Ohio to visit family (CRAZY!)
9. Favorite feline diagnosed with lymphoma (He is doing great on his chemo!)
8. Bridesmaid in a wedding (I might just get married in Vegas)
7. Star Wars Exhibit Visit (Meh)
6. Minnesota Renaissance Festival (Twice!)
5. Minnesota Garlic Festival (I wrote an article about it to be published in The Drummer!)
4. Visitations from Out-of-State friends (Love You, Z!)
3. High School Friends re-union (no reason to attend my real 10-year high school re-union now, which happens in 3 weeks!)
2. iQualifyNow.com suspended its article writing program (win/lose: I lost an account, but now I have more time to try advancing myself)

And the #1 thing which has messed with my mojo more than anything else?

1. Calvin, our new Siberian Husky puppy, who just turned 5 months old yesterday.

I never said that all of these things were bad, in fact, most of these things were very, very good and in many cases, lots and lots of fun. But I am a home-body. I think I did more out-of-my-home activities this summer than I have in a while.

Plus, my pets are very important to me. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to have any children, so as far as I'm concerned, they're my kids. Krillin's diagnosis of lymphoma came as a huge, traumatic shock. Then, my boyfriend falling in love with a husky that was headed for the pound completely turned our house upside-down. Who am I to say no, though? I'm a sucker for a good pet-related sob-story.

Needless to say, I've been distracted so writing and work have been low on my priorities. Because I've been completely off of my schedule, I haven't been able to concentrate. I've been doing enough to make sure ends are met and my kitty could get his chemo, but I haven't done a thing all summer to advance my career. In fact, because iQualifyNow suspended their program, I'm down a client compared to when I started in June.

Thankfully, my social life is slowing down a little bit, not that I didn't totally deserve to take a mental vacation for a while for as hard as I've been working for the past few years. In the last two weeks, I've been pulling myself back together. This blog post is part of my recovery, in fact! Laying it all out here in a sort-of journal format has helped me put in writing what I have been unable to place my finger on for the past few months.

I have to get it together, anyway! With the new husky, our house is super-cramped. We rent and want to take advantage of low real estate price, low interest rates, the abundance of homes on the market, and new first-time home buyer programs. I have to get my butt in gear to get my financial house in order and prepare myself to enter a new stage in life by June 30th next year: Home Ownership. Working up some new clients and making more money could really help with that!

Anyways, time to wrap this up. Today, I rededicate myself to this blog, a new webpage I'm creating for myself, and shortly there-after, an industry-related blog to hopefully drum up some more interest in my writing. Not this kind of writing, but something more related to my industry. I've got a few irons in the fire right now which I will probably cross post to here once I have them going.

If anyone is reading this, thanks for listening!

Top 10 Oldest Jokes in the World

Yes, its been a while since I posted. I'm making sure that I at least have one entry in July. I'll explain what sorts of fun and not so fun things that have been distracting me later. For now, let's read the list of oldest jokes throughout the world as compiled by the University of Wolverhampton.

1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)

3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)

7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC – 30 BC)

8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)

9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

The accompanying article for this list can be found here.

Religious Tolerance in America

So, I found this interesting article on Religion in America at the Star Tribune here in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It shows that religious tolerance is rising, to the point that 70% of the 35,000 adults surveyed who had a spiritual affiliation said they're religion is not the "only true religion" and that other belief systems can lead to eternal salvation.

When you read the article though, you get the feeling that the person who wrote it was indeed Catholic and very much against the idea that there are multiple roads to salvation. This makes it a particularly interesting read! Bible quotes and all! And they say the STrib is only a God-less liberal mouthpiece.

My favorite quote, though, is:

"What most people are saying is, 'Hey, we don't have a hammer-lock on God or salvation, and God's bigger than us and we should respect that and respect other people,'" said the Rev. Tom Reese, a senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University.

Wow! Its a human within the "business of religion" that actually accepts that God is omnipotent and omniscient compared to man's puny amount of knowledge. Its rare to find a religious figure that doesn't believe they are "all knowing" and "all seeing" when it comes to God's judgement.

Finally a Sonic Drive-In in Minnesota!

When perusing the Star Tribune today, I stumbled across a blurb which seemed to indicate that at least one of my prayers has been answered. A Sonic Drive-In has finally opened in Minnesota!

Twin Citians with a taste for cherry limeade, tater tots and extra-long Coney hotdogs served up at Sonic drive-ins can quench their cravings. Sonic is to open its first Minnesota store at 6 a.m. today at 1960 Suburban Av. in St. Paul, just south of Interstate 94 and east of White Bear Avenue.

The closest Sonic had been 180 miles south, in Fort Dodge, Iowa. Sonic got its start in 1953 in Shawnee, Okla., as the Top Hat Drive-In, a hamburger and root beer stand. It's now the nation's largest drive-in restaurant chain.

As previously stated, I most certainly plan on partaking in their Chili Cheese Tator Tots, Caramel Apple Bites, and Bacon Cheeseburger Toaster Sandwich. Also as previously state, I will bring my fellow Minnesotan friends who also have had an interest in Sonic Drive-In goodness with me. And if I want breakfast in the afternoon they will give it to me, unlike their inferior counterparts.

Beware of Foreclosure Fraud

All across the United States, more than 1 million homes have been put in foreclosure so far this year. With more foreclosures occurring every day, "foreclosure rescue" scams are also on the rise. From California to New York, criminals have been pretending to sooth the fears of borrowers facing foreclosure with promises of mortgage help, only to fleece them of their homes and equity. Basically, the wave of the predatory lending has broken into a new era of foreclosure fraud.

That is the lead in to one of my most recent articles on www.iQualifyNow.com. Obviously, it is about foreclosure fraud. I really liked writing this article because it was interesting to research, but it makes me mad that there are so many people in the world who are willing to take advantage of others. These are people trying to save their homes!

Anyways, this article provides tips to help you weed out most of the criminals in your search for help to fight foreclosure. There really are people out there who can help you, you simply have to find them.

Pure Pionus Parrot

Okay, so after I made my last post, I got to thinking that there was at least one publication of mine which had not been linked to this blog yet. I wrote this article for Associated Content because I thought (very briefly) that I might be able to make some money this way when I was first starting out as a writer. I had been out of practice for articles of any length (my primary duties at the time were creating about 33 news blurbs of 200 characters of less), so it took me a little while to write. I wasn't satisfied with the compensation I received, however. Now I know a little bit more about those sorts of mass produced things. I will probably write something else for them someday, but I feel that site is a little bit more about quantity and not as much about quality.

Myself, I strive for quality and content over quantity. I put time and research into my articles. Though I will use existing items as references, I like to create my own original articles on various topics. I also like to take a few things that might be happening in the news at the same time and tie them together, such as this article I wrote which combines information from a piece that says the act of giving can counteract depression with a piece that says donations are down.

Anyways.. back to the parrot. I have a Pionus Parrot named Harry. He is of the Blue Headed variety. They are peculiar birds. They don't usually talk, or if they do talk, it is not very clearly. But mine does! He is very self centered, though. His phrases are "Harry Bird," "Harry Boy," "Buddy Bird," "Buddy Boy," "Whats up, birdy," "Come here," and "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty." He does have some more colorful phrases, but thankfully, those are much less easily understood. The F-sound is a little harder for a parrot to mimick :) He can be very, very loud and it can be very frustrating. I can't always account for the language I use towards him when he is throwing a little birdy temper tantrum!

Anyways, my family owns birds. My aunt has a Yellow Naped Amazon and a Congo African Grey. I would never own either of these birds, their beaks are far too large and they tend to only like one person. Harry, on the other hand, craves attention from anyone who will give it to him. My mother and brother, between the two of them, have a Nanday Conure named Cozmo, a Blue-Crowned Conure named Indigo, and a Jardine's Parrot named Jordy. While I would totally have another Pionus or a Jardine, I wouldn't get another conure. They are friendly but very loud.

Never Too Late to Teach Your Kids About Money

Teaching children about money is never an easy task. Perhaps you don't feel confident about your own money-management skills. However, you probably know a little more about directing cash than you think. From the time that children begin comprehending money (which is around the same time they learn to count) until they move out of your home permanently, your financial actions will play a critical role in shaping their attitude toward money. Teaching and encouraging children to become regular savers, thrifty spenders, and savvy investors will help them lead a financially fit life in the future.

This is the lead in to my most recent article published on iQualifyNow.com. I think the title is pretty obvious! It has some tips about teaching kids about cash. I wish I would have been made to save when I was younger. Maybe I would have some savings of which to speak!

I'm a little bummed that my iQualifyNow articles have been the only items in my blog lately. I have been very busy and super productive, however! I picked up two new clients this week. WOOHOO! New projects! Of course, since I want this blog to also be a record of my on-line published articles, I will post links when appropriate.

I am stoked that I've been contributing so regular to Sense & Serendipity! I've been doing infinitely better since the sputtering start of this blog in March of 2007. But then again, I was working 60 hours a week last year. Now all I do is write! Makes me so happy. I really, truly love what I do and I am excited to see where my next projects will lead me!